I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
