i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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