i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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