He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
