Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
