we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
