so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
third nipple confirmed
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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