she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
