So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize