Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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