he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
