so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
