Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
