i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
