also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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