Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
