how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
