life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Damn victory sex feels great
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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