Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
