She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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