It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
