After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
