No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
