i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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