I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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