On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
