I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
