this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
