What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
