idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
