I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
