His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
