Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
another moral hangover. fuck.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
