I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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