i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
