Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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