i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
