she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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