Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
