Small penises have feelings too.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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