I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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