If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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