the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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