And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
