Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
