we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
