Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
