oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize