You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
