It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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