Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My cat gives me a boner
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
