weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
