Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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