So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Me too!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
