Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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