Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
