Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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