Ambien. No doubt about it.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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