I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize